I’d like to talk to you this week about personal growth and striving to improve, something we deeply value at Bright Line Eating.

This connects with the idea of becoming Resourced, one of the three main themes of my new book, Maintain, out in April. The book explores long-term weight loss maintenance as a journey of becoming Devoted to your plan of eating, becoming Resourced through personal growth, and ultimately becoming Liberated from the food and weight struggle altogether.

Why Personal Growth Isn’t Linear

Lately, I’ve noticed something in social media and the broader personal growth world that I believe is misleading, even a little silly. Well-meaning memes say things like “let every day be better than your last” or “strive for continual progress.” Sometimes they even literally say that if you get one percent better every day, in 90 days you’ll be 90% better.

Except that it doesn’t work that way.

Because real growth isn’t linear.

When I used to teach child development, we talked about how babies and children don’t grow a little bit each day. Growth happens in spurts—periods of little or no change followed by sudden growth. Emotional and psychological growth works the same way: stretches of steadiness, plateaus, and then periods of rapid change before settling at a new level.

Also, growth can be circular—more like a spiral than a straight line. We often return to the same themes, the same grief, the same challenges. For me, I chronically struggle with my ego and the sense that I talk too much. I can leave a dinner party feeling a twinge of shame, wondering whether I dominated the conversation. That’s an area I revisit repeatedly in my own growth work. Each return to this subject offers an opportunity to look at it with new awareness and perspective. Others revisit themes of abandonment, intimacy, and countless other topics in their spiral-staircase of growth.

Growth Happens in Seasons and Contexts

Personal growth can also be seasonal. I experience seasonal affective disorder, so winter is often a time when I feel low and less vibrant. Other seasons of life—raising children, caring for aging parents, or entering retirement—also bring distinct challenges. Growth shifts with the seasons we’re living through.

Some growth is contextual. If you’re dating, for example, different aspects of your growth will surface depending on whether you’re single or in a relationship, navigating issues of boundaries, attachment, intimacy, and expectations.

And sometimes, personal growth is just messy, fraught, or disguised. There may be stretches when you cry often—periods of grief that are seasonal, hormonal, or connected to old experiences finally rising to the surface. In those moments, it can feel as though something is wrong with you, when in fact you are simply moving through a necessary phase of healing. Eventually, the storm cloud passes—and maybe there’s a rainbow on the other side.

Becoming a Good Steward of Your Growth Journey

Over the years, I’ve learned that the goal isn’t to become “one percent better every day.” Instead, I try to be a good steward of my journey—of my heart and soul. I focus on giving my soul the nourishment it’s looking for—not from the aisles of the supermarket, but real soul food. That could be journaling, a call to a good friend, meditation, or a session with a therapist or life coach.

When you think of landscapes, the most beautiful ones aren’t linear. Give me mountains, curving streams, valleys, and streams. Personal growth is like that—full of variation, intensity, and depth. It doesn’t move in a straight line, and it’s not supposed to.