Mara wrote in recently with a great question. She said, “I’ve heard you discuss a study that showed that affirmations are not helpful. Louise Hay, of Hay House, your publisher, has based her work on mirror affirmation work. Can you speak more on this?”

Can Using Affirmations Backfire?

Great question! I was once at the International Positive Psychology Conference, and went to a talk on affirmations. The researchers had people do affirmations, and then they measured their happiness levels. They found that the affirmations worked for some, but not for others. Some showed no benefit, and some actually showed a detriment—doing the affirmation made their happiness level go down.

They interviewed this last group, and these turned out to be the people who did not believe that the specific statements they were repeating were true. Essentially, they said the affirmations triggered a twinge for them because they did not like themselves in that way.

Affirmations and Self-Esteem

So, the researchers looked closer at self-esteem, and found out that it’s not a single, monolithic thing. It’s very domain-specific. So, for example, I have good self-esteem when it comes to public speaking. I believe I’m good at it. I don’t have good self-esteem when it comes to playing soccer or many other sports.

How to Use Affirmations Effectively

It turns out that self-esteem is specific to various niches. So, the researchers worked with people individually to create decks of affirmation cards that matched what the person was congruent with.

So, if a person said that they felt they were a kind person, a card would be made to that attribute and placed in the deck. But they might leave out something like “I love the way I look. My smile is radiant and beautiful.” If they don’t look in the mirror and feel that way—for example, if they have chipped teeth—saying that won’t help and might even hurt.

What the researchers showed, in the end, is that you have to meet people where they are at when it comes to affirmations. You can’t have people say things that feel untrue to them. It can be harmful.

Using Affirmations in Bright Line Eating

How can we apply this to Bright Line Eating? Here’s an example: if someone has broken their Bright Lines and Rezoomed over and over again, you wouldn’t want to make them say something like “I stay Bright effortlessly and with ease. I know that a Bright day is within my reach.”

That could backfire, because they don’t have the experience of staying Bright effortlessly. On the other hand, a mantra like this might work: “I have no doubt that I can stay Bright in this moment. I enjoy the next five seconds being Bright.”

Now that might work, and it might help them get through the day.

Affirmation Work is Nuanced

The bottom line is that, like so many things, affirmations are nuanced. Their effect on people is nuanced. You have to look at how it jives with what they think about themselves.

The good thing is that everyone has many things they like and appreciate about themselves. I’ve known a lot of people who hate themselves. But each one will claim certain skills and abilities. Like, “I’m very good at tech,” or “I’m kind to others, if not myself.”

So, you can start an affirmation deck from there and grow it. If they are living Bright, they’ll be doing more things that they respect. You can even build into a Bright Line deck something like, “When I have a Bright day, I really respect myself for it.” Reinforcing that may build on itself.

So, when you look in the mirror, try to find something you like about yourself. Use affirmations that resonate and avoid those that trigger feelings of inadequacy.