Hey there, it's Dr. Susan Peirce Thompson and someone named Mara wrote in with a great question. She wants to know, do affirmations really work? Here's what she wrote. She said, "I've heard you discuss how there was a study that showed that affirmations are not helpful. Louise Hay Re: Hay House is your publisher and has always based her work on mirror affirmation work. Can you speak more on this?" Yeah, Mara, great topic.
It is true. I was once at the International Positive Psychology Conference, this was probably, gosh, 15 years ago, and I went to a talk that was on affirmations. What the researchers did was they had people do affirmations and then they measured their happiness levels after that, I guess during and after. What they found was that the affirmations did not work across the board, that they worked for some people, not for others. Then they took the people who had showed, there were some people who showed no benefit, and there were people who showed actually a detriment, like doing the affirmations made their happiness level go down, and so they interviewed those people, and they said, "What's going on? You know, your happiness level is going down here, doing those affirmations. Any idea why that might be?" And the people said, "Well, I don't believe them." They said, "Ah, so basically the affirmations are just bringing up in you a twinge and a flinch and a reminder of how you don't like or value or love yourself in that way." They said, "Yeah, exactly."
What the researchers did is they looked at some research on self-esteem that shows that self-esteem is not one monolithic thing. It's not like we have self-esteem, or we don't. as a matter of fact, we have self-esteem that's very domain specific. For example, I have really good self-esteem when it comes to public speaking. I like public speaking. I feel like I'm good at it. I have not good self-esteem when it comes to playing soccer or many other sports that I never really felt like I got good at or can do well at all. But I don't have bad self-esteem in all physical domains. If someone says, "Are you good at hiking?" Suddenly I feel like, yeah, I, I'm really good at hiking. I love to hike. I do it well. So, we have very niche specific self-esteem.
What the researchers did was they worked with people individually to create decks of affirmation cards that contained only statements that the person felt congruent with. A lot of people would say, I am a kind person. I go out of my way to be nice to people wherever possible. And that's an affirmation that they can stand by. And so, they would put that card in the affirmation deck, but they might leave out something like, I love the way I look. My smile is radiant and beautiful. If they look in the mirror and they don't feel that way, saying that is not going to help them feel that way. As a matter of fact, it might make them feel worse, especially maybe if they have chipped teeth and they're self-conscious about my smile saying that might truly make their well-being plummet. Basically, what they showed is that you've got to meet people where they're at with affirmations and you can stretch them a little bit, but not too much. You can't be having them say stuff that absolutely feels untrue to them or you'll just actually be harming them. It doesn't work.
I mean, in a Bright Line Eating® context, I wonder how we can apply this stuff. Here's an example. If someone's broken their Bright Lines and Rezoomed™ over and over and over again in the early days of getting Bright again, making them say something like, "I stay Bright effortlessly and with ease. I know that a Bright day is within my reach," that might backfire. They do not have the experience of staying Bright effortlessly and with ease, and that's kind of a very Louise Hay type thing to make someone say. It might not work. But if you give them a mantra that is, "I have no doubt that I can stay Bright in this moment. I enjoy the next five seconds being Bright," that might work. They might be able to say that over and over again, and it might actually help them get through the day.
I guess the bottom line is like a lot of things, affirmations are nuanced. The effect on people is nuanced. It depends, and the devil really is in the details. You've got to look into what are you having people say and how does it jive with what they already think about themselves. The good news is that everybody has some things about themselves that they do value and appreciate. I've known a lot of people who think terribly about themselves and would readily admit and agree that they hate themselves, that they loathe themselves, that they feel worthless. I've known each and every one of those people to not even begrudgingly, but even solidly claim certain skills and abilities. Like, I'm really good with tech, or I don't hurt others. I may hurt myself, but I don't hurt others. Or if you ask me a direct question, I'll tell you the truth. Now, maybe they wouldn't say yes to those particular things, but they would have things that they would say yes, they're good at. Absolutely. And so, you can build an affirmation deck out of those things and then grow it from there. Grow it from there.
As they're living Bright, they're going to be doing more things that they respect more things that they respect. You could even build into the deck for Bright Line Eating, "When I have a Bright Day, I really respect myself for it. It really matters to me. A Bright day feels like a big win." If they've spent a week in Bright Line Eating, you could put that into their affirmation deck, and it might really help. They might really identify that that's true for them and then reinforcing that might build on itself. So, that's what the research shows. I hope that's helpful.
When it comes to mirror affirmation work, you might look in the mirror and you might not want to be saying, "I love my radiant smile," but maybe you want to say, "I like my skin. I've always had pretty skin." Maybe not. Maybe that's the opposite of what resonates for you. Maybe you like your eyes, maybe, you get the idea, right? You're just going to need to stick to affirmations that resonate and that don't bring up a feeling of rejection and revulsion in you because that's counterproductive. I hope that makes sense. Great question. Thank you for the question, Mara. That's the weekly vlog. I'll see you next week.
