Hey there, it's Dr. Susan Peirce Thompson, and this vlog is going to be all about how we manage the muchness of life, especially if you're a working professional with a family, and everything that you've got to fit into your Bright Life feels overwhelming. I'm going to share with you a journey that I went on in the last week having huge awarenesses on how I could structure my days and in particular my evenings and my bedtime differently to huge benefit.
So, hey there. I'm Dr. Susan Pierce Thompson, and I have to say that I have chronically struggled with over busy-ness, feeling like the fullness of my life is teetering on a little too much. Sometimes it's clearly too much. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing great, and sometimes it's just like I feel like I'm treading water and my nose and my mouth just keep dipping below the surface of the water, and I'm struggling to keep afloat. I prefer the feeling where I'm treading water and I feel strong and my chin and even my upper chest are above the level of the water and I'm treading water, but I have got it under control. That's what I like to feel like.
I want to share with you something I'm doing differently. It's really working so far. It's early days. I talked with my life coach, Clive Prout, about a week ago. I have two life coaches that I've worked with on and off for, gosh, one of them over 10 years. I think we're at 11 years now, and Clive, I've been working with for 23 years, not joking, on and off. Sometimes I work with neither of them. Sometimes I work with both of them. Right now, I'm working with both of them because I feel like I got a lot on my plate. They feed me differently; they give me different insights. They work with me differently, and sometimes I'm only working with one of them. Anyway, I brought to my session with Clive the muchness, the feeling that I'm overwhelmed, "Clive, I've got too much.? And I said, ?I don't know if any breakthroughs are possible here because the truth is I'm not willing to give up any of the major buckets of things in my life. The kids, the Bright Line Eating®, the family, the marriage. I've got a few other things there that I'm just committed to all of them. My body work. I've got some synovial cysts in my spine, and I'm getting a lot of medical attention for that," and blah, blah, blah, whatever. I said, "I'm not willing to take any of those major areas of focus off my plate. So, the reality is it is too much, and I don't know if there's anything I could reasonably do about that," but we had the session and I had a breakthrough, a major breakthrough.
I realized something about how I live my Bright days that blows my mind that I never saw it before. I have studied myself and investigated my recovery journey every which way from Sunday, and I cannot believe that I never noticed before that the first three hours of my day, my alarm goes off at 5:12 AM I know that's a weird time, but that's what it takes for me to be on my call with the woman I'm guiding right now at 5:30 AM. At 6:00 AM, I'm meditating. At 6:30 AM, I'm starting breakfast, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. I can tell you; you pick out any minute between 5:12 and 8:30 AM, I could tell you exactly what I'm doing during that minute of the morning. It's that structured and I love it. I thrive. I feel like it's great. Between 8:30 AM and about 4:30 PM I could tell you what I'm doing for any hour of that time, whether I'm eating lunch or I'm going to be on a Zoom with this person, or I'm going to be on an all team call or I'll be shooting a vlog or whatever I'm doing that time is blocked off to the hour, and then after four 30, I couldn't tell you what I'm doing at any given point.
I never noticed that before. I think the reason it escaped my notice is that I do have quite an extensive evening routine that I do in order. I brush my teeth. Well, first I finish up in my office. I shut down my office, I plug in my cell phone downstairs. I go upstairs. I brush my teeth. I come over. I take my nighttime magnesium and progesterone and the things that I take at night. Then I go, I get on my knees and I pray. I go through a mental gratitude list of the day in child's pose down there. I'm prostration. Just thank you for a beautiful Bright, abstinent day. And then I recall scenes from the day that fill my heart with gratitude, and then I read recovery literature. Then I write in my five-year journal. Then I read my Rumi page, and then I do my nightly checklist, and I turn off the light. It all seemed pretty structured to me. You would think, "Oh, well, she knows what she's doing at night."
Yeah, the trouble is I'm in total denial about when I'm getting that done. It's not what I'm doing. It's when, and oh, by the way, what's happening between 4:30 and bedtime? Who knows? Right now, I've got family. That's all great. I don't mind having unstructured time. It's not that. It's just that I think I'm getting to bed at 9 or 9:30 at night, but my aura ring here tells me that I'm on average getting to sleep just before 11:00 PM and waking up at 5:12 AM. That is not enough sleep for me. I was averaging six hours and 22 minutes of sleep over the long haul, and I know because this ring tells me, so it blows my mind. I'm like, "What? I get to bed at 9 or 9:30, don't I?" No, Susan, you don't. You get to bed just before 11:00 PM. That's what the data show. And so, Clive and I started to talk about that. "Susan, you're not getting to bed on time. What's happening?"
I realize a couple things. One is my mornings are structured because I have people that I'm committed to getting on the phone or on Zoom with to support them. I am committed to being there on time for them commitments to myself trying to get to bed on time, feel far more flexible and fungible like, well, my aim is to get to bed at 9 or 9:30, but if my daughter's coming up to me saying, "Mommy..." and fill in the blank, I'm going to go be with her, and then it's lovemaking, and then it's an email that I feel like I've got to write, and then it's a to-do list that needs to be organized and on and on and on. My husband often checks in with me when I'm in my office at 7:00 PM "Hey, sweetie, what you got for the rest of the night?" And I'll almost always say, "I'm going to get to bed on time tonight.? At which point he laughs at me. He says, all right, I'll see you up in bed at around 11. And I go, "Am I that transparent?" I guess I am. I'm pretty predictable. It's ironic that me claiming that I'm going to get to bed on time is exactly the cue that he knows something's going to happen and I'm going to not.
So, at the end of this coaching call, I declared a Bright Line bedtime of 9:30 PM. Lights out at 9:30. I said, "Let me just declare that I'm going to do that and I'm going to commit to you, Clive Prout, that that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to report at our next coaching session how many nights I did that for. That is absolutely what I'm going to do, and then I'm going to have to work backwards from there." What I realized was I'm getting stuck in my office at night because I'm not at all clear all the things that I have to do to shut down my office before bed. So, I started making a list of them, and then I made an office nightly checklist, like an evening office checklist just to streamline and clarify what am I actually trying to check and double check at the end of the day to shut it all down this email address that email address. Slack. Write something in my gratitude jar app, check my aura ring activity stats, and make sure I met my activity goal for the day. Otherwise, I start wandering around the house, getting those steps in, whatever. There's a few more things. The first night I did this 9:30 lights out time, I got into my office with that. I made that checklist, and then I was starting to work through it. I thought I was going to get through it in an hour. At an hour, I was not even halfway done, and I was like, no wonder I get stuck. Without having had clarity about that, I would often go upstairs and then be running back downstairs, oh, I forgot to check Slack or whatever, and I would get stuck in my office in just this. I'm fuzzy headed at the end of the day. So, this non-conscious, endless loop of things that I was doing in my office. Now that I have this checklist, it's going faster and I'm able to kind of stay aware of those things and tick some of them off earlier in the day. Just kind of check those email accounts and just get to the end of the day and feel like, nah, I'm up on that. I don't need to check that again. That's helpful.
I've been turning off the lights at 9:30 and I've been averaging over an hour more sleep than I had been getting, and I started to feel great. My readiness score started to skyrocket. It's been good. Then I traveled to a conference this last weekend and I didn't have that 5:30 AM call. I don't usually do those calls when I'm traveling. There was a dance. I love to dance. I don't get to dance on a dance floor with people very much, and I really like to do it. I stayed out later dancing and I realized I don't have to wake up as early tomorrow, and that was fine. A second day, I stayed up late on my phone, fuzzy headed in a loop and just kind of blew it that day. But five out of the last seven days, I have actually had the actual lights actually off at 9:30 PM and it's been a huge win. It's been a huge win for me. Structure really helps, and I know I'm in an unusual time of life. I'm in a time of life where I am a mom with three kids at home still. I'm pouring my heart and soul into them because they're not going to be here long in my home. They're going to fly the coop soon. They're 17, 17, and 13, and it's going fast, and I'm loving it more and more, and I'm devoted to them. And I'm really devoted to my career right now. I've got a couple papers submitted to "Frontiers in Psychiatry," a top journal, and working on getting those done. I've got a book manuscript that I just submitted to Hay House that I feel really proud about, but as I always say, books are like herpes. They're going to keep coming back again and again and again. That thing will be back in my lap in three weeks. I've got a marriage of coming up on 26 years this month that I'm devoted to. I've got an aging body that needs more and more of my attention, and I'm really committed to my weight training and my nutrition and my doctor's appointments for health, for the things that are cropping up these days. I'm committed to a lot of things in life these days. It won't always be this busy, but for me, I find that structure is the key.
Now, I've had people write in and say, what about us? People who the personality tests say are not structured people like on Myers-Briggs, the PS versus the JS. I want to let you know I'm one of those hyper PS, a strong P. Like what if you don't know that test? It means someone who doesn't prefer structure, who likes to leave decisions for the last minute to just kind of decide in the flow and feels hemmed in and uncomfortable by having too many things on their calendar. You might say, "Susan Peirce Thompson, and that does not sound like you at all. How can you say you're a high P if you've got all this structure that you're preferring?" And I say, well, the reality is I've learned to prefer it because I can't get the things done I want to do in life. It's not that I prefer structure, it's that I prefer productivity and I prefer meaning and engagement in my life. Without the structure, I'm flailing. I'm such a hot mess. I'm a Medusa with her head cut off and the snake's just flailing around. I can't function. So I've come to prefer structure because it's what makes it all work. And so, I don't know, maybe I'm a PA closet J or something in Myers-Briggs terms. Anyway, so I just offer this in case you're in the season of life like me, where you've got more commitments and plates spinning then is reasonable, and yet you're committed to the life that you have and you're trying to optimize how do I live Bright and get all this done and show up for all the things that I'm trying to show up for in life.
For me, structure is the key, and the evening Bright Line bedtime, and then having to work backwards from there is making it all work. I am now pretty focused at about 7:00 PM on just making sure that I'm on target to getting to bed at 9:30, and I'm also more clear between 4:30 and 7:00 PM that that's my time to spend quality time with my kids. I'll get a little before bed. I absolutely go around and spend a little time with each one of them right before bed, tuck them in and tell them I love them and hang out a little bit. But the good time is earlier in the evening. And yeah, this Bright Line bedtime has made me clearer on when and how I can show up for all the things that matter to me. So, I offer it to you as just an anecdote and a data point and something to mull over and see what might fit into your life of all that. That's the weekly vlog. I'll see you next time.